The stress test results came in last week and Bank of America was by far the biggest loser in the group. The Treasury announced that the bank needs an additional $33.9 billion to be able to survive a continued economic downturn - almost as much as the other 18 largest bailed-out U.S. financial institutions combined. But apparently, the preliminary stress test results had been even worse, and BofA had to negotiate with the government to get the number down to a piddly $33.9 billion.

According to the Wall Street Journal, the preliminary results had put BofA's shortfall at more than $50 billion! One analyst had estimated that the figure could be as high as $70 billion. The bank was "shocked" at the Treasury's initial figure and "negotiated" to have the number lowered by about $20 billion.

Of course this begs a question as to just how healthy BofA actually is. I mean, I've heard of accounting tricks, but I didn't know it was possible to knock off 30% of your capital shortfall through "negotiations". That's one hell of an accounting trick!

It reminds me of a movie I saw back in middle school: Clueless. In it, Alicia Silverstone, playing Beverly Hills teenager Cher Horowitz, is unsatisfied with her grades and embarks on a mission to get them changed. Only she doesn't do it by working harder or doing extra credit - she does it through her "powers of persuasion", from crying to one teacher about a made-up guy who broke her heart to helping another find true love. When she shows her litigator father her vastly improved report card several weeks later, he responds, "Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades."

Somehow I doubt taxpayers feel the same way about BofA's latest report card.